StepAside

Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles celebrate their engagement with a booger-eating contest. Bowles seems to have taken the first bite.

Asked which features are most indicative of British upper-class inbreeding, Camilla Parker Bowles and Prince Charles clearly differed.

Pulled over by the bobbies for Operating a Relationship While Royal, Prince Charles attempts to touch the tip of his nose to demonstrate his competence. Camilla Parker Bowles attempts the same, and confirms her utter suitability for marriage into the Royal Family.

"Where's tweety, Camilla?"

Here's my own: Annoyed by the media, Charles and Camilla tried unsuccessfully to remember which finger to hoist.

Many fine entries. Ah, decisions, decisions! I'm calling in an outside expert; watch for puffs of smoke in the sky.

First, I would like to congratulate the entrants. You are all very creative and the queen was quite amused and delighted by your interest in her son.

The winner, I am delighted to announce, is contestant #2 ("Asked which features are most indicative of British upper-class inbreeding, Camilla Parker Bowles and Prince Charles clearly differed");

I must add that contestant #1 ("Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles celebrate their engagement with a booger-eating contest. Bowles seems to have taken the first bite") would have been a close second in many quarters. My nephew favors this kind of humor, and as it is also typical of "Little Britain," a quinessentially British and extraordinarily popular show, it should get honorable mention. On the other hand, my nephew is eleven and "Little Britain" is more tasteless than any food produced on that isle. My mother actually prefers "South Park" to "Little Britain";

"Where's tweety, Camilla?" is creative, but we all know that the royals care about animals more than anything else (well, all animals aside from foxes perhaps);

I'm afraid, though, that "Annoyed by the media, Charles and Camilla tried unsuccessfully to remember which finger to hoist" is an example of blatent cultural ignorance and must be disqualified and the person proposing it forced to go the same way as Ward Churchill. We use two fingers not one, and both Charles and Camilla are well aware which they are. The queen is in total agreement with this verdict and has instructed her corgi to write to the president of your university first thing Thursday morning.

The rest of you have all done very well. Keep up the good work. . . .

Case closed.

I demand a recount! I mean, a revote! I mean, a new, more objective outside judge!

Thank you for playing.

I win! Wheee!!

Congratulations to the winner, and many thanks to our judge for all her hard work. Even though she insulted the Sponsor of Today's Episode.