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June 15, 2005
T-shirt trauma
I live in t-shirts but buy them as seldom as possible. It's such a frustrating enterprise that usually I delay until what I'm wearing is so disgraceful that even my unobservant, unreclaimed hippie partner remarks that perhaps I'm going too far. And then I steel myself for The Excursion. Viz, this evening. At 5 pm I knew I didn't have any more writing in me, and I suddenly decided that it was time. The Time. So I jumped in the Saturn and headed for the Sangertown Mall in Utica. Penney's, Sears, Target, Kaufmann's. Grimly gripping the steering wheel, expecting yet another exercise in frustration. And at the first stop, Penney's, my expectations were fulfilled. Oh, they had plenty of t-shirts, and in my size, too. Some of them had cute little appliques on them. Gag me with a spoon. Some were in sweet pastels that no woman with any self-respect would ever wear. Some in polyester blends. POLYESTER BLENDS? Worst of all were the t-shirts that were perfect--except they were 6 inches too long. I am abidingly mystified by the widespread custom of manufacturing fat ladies' t-shirts that will come down over the butt. Now, that might at first thought seem a good idea: cover up all that fat, right? But surely there's not a person alive who hasn't winced to see a fat lady walking along in a garment that hangs over and clings to her butt, emphasizing with every step just how fat she is. Boom diddy boom diddy boom diddy boom.
I'm sure everyone will be relieved to know that I found the right t-shirts, and at my second stop, Sears. (I also found replacement earrings for the gold hoops that I lost in the accident.) 100% cotton. Not as short as the Lord & Taylor t-shirts that I love and have worn till they're threadbare, but not too long. No boom diddy boom. Snapped up three black ones, natch, along with three others in colors that will make S cringe: bright green, bright yellow, screaming (but not neon) orange. Who knew that buying t-shirts could be an occasion for joy?
Posted by senioritis at June 15, 2005 09:51 PM
Comments
I share your frustration, though in reverse: I need t-shirts long enough to actually cover my belly. (Apparently I'm a bit long in the torso.) I've found I like the Old Navy v-neck in XL, since it's apparently designed to be worn with ultra low jeans.
Posted by: susansinclair at June 15, 2005 11:10 PM
I don't know what it is, but t-shirts and old raggedy jeans are the best! I wish I could wear them everywhere! So, comfortable!
BTW, I wear my t-shirts out too, before I'm off to buying new ones. In fact, I need new ones now, but I've got to hold off until I get some cash to spend on myself.
Posted by: digitalpenny at June 16, 2005 07:10 AM
You got sumtin to say about polyester, there, boss? Okay, maybe not in t-shirts, but I actually *like* polly estha.
Posted by: aerobil at June 16, 2005 09:32 AM
Best bet for T shirts? The THRIFT STORE. :) They got 'em long, short, cotton, poly, whateva.
They're already a little worn, but you're just writing in them, write? erm, Right?
I wear my Ts out, too. Except mine STINK before they get threadbare. And then they get threadbare and faded because I try like mad to bleach the stink out of them.
Overshare.
Posted by: madeline at June 16, 2005 01:37 PM
Once t-shirts acquire a stink, it takes a lot of bleach, hot water, and heavy duty cycle to get em clean. When I'm exercising, I try to wear white t-shirts, so's I can bleach em before they ever acquire the dread stink. AND AS LONG AS THEY DON'T HAVE POLYESTER IN THEM, you can bleach em!
In my wardrobe, what stinks are the sliders. I have a half dozen of em, I wear m around the house, garden, and neighborhood a lot, and I only think to wash them when as I'm slapping one on I get a whiff of it. Sweaty hat is nasty, nasty.
Posted by: senioritis at June 16, 2005 06:53 PM
You have a delightful sense of humor! The onomatopoeia really brings the experience to life for me. My beef is that all the tee's that fit me are TOO short or TOO long; neither a viable option since stretch marks definitely demand discretion! ;)
Posted by: denise at June 16, 2005 09:50 PM
Oh, I know all about the boom diddy boom. Except I never thought of it quite that way before.
Posted by: Krista Kennedy at June 17, 2005 10:41 PM