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January 13, 2006
Lies cyclists tell themselves
Elden started this, but I have some additions to make.
- "Those tires don't need to be pumped today." (Get the pump out, fool, and take care of them, or else you're going to have a flat.)
- "The bike will forgive me if I don't oil the chain till spring." (Like hell it will. You'll have the pain of listening to a rusty chain while you ride, and you'll be taking years off a damn fine bike.)
- "Wow, my legs are really strong." (No, they're not. You have a tailwind, fool, and sooner or later you're going to have to turn around and face it.)
- "My speed doesn't matter; just getting out is all that's needed in the winter." (Riiiight.)
- "Three miles will be plenty today." (Three miles? THREE miles? That's 15 minutes of riding, you old coot. Not even worth suiting up for.)
- "Ah, there's another cyclist." You're squinting into the sun. You bare your teeth in what feels like an appropriate grimace/smile, and you jerk your head back in the universal jock greeting. (The young male cyclist, as he passes you, wonders whether the old girl is having a seizure.)
- "With all this road dust, I'd better call it a day." (Sure. Lots of people have been known to drop dead from inhaling road dust.)
- "There will be plenty more opportunities to ride; we're having a really warm January." (Yeah, today we are. Tomorrow it's business as usual in an upstate NY winter.)
Only eight lies. It may not seem like much, but it's eight lies that I told myself today. It's a single day's worth of cyclist's lies. Well, at least I did manage to talk myself into 6 miles—a half-hour ride. We're not going to talk about the speed (but if you're feeling really cruel, you can do the math).
Posted by senioritis at January 13, 2006 01:59 PM